he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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