By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
