Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
soo... how was my night?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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