she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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