Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Of course I have a pirate flag
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
