Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
