he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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