8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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