so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
