I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
