exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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