Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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