I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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