Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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