Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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