i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
