shes about as inviting as chlamydia
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
