My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
