what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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