what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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