I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
