I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
