Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Randomize
