Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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