going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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