theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
