Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
