i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
