This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We need a shit load of segways right now
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
