Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
