I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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