i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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