Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize