Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
it's great music for shaving your balls
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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