I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
His nipple licking is glorious
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