normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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