M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
