Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
