Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm just crazy horny about you
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
