I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
