I wish I could punch you in the face.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
