When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
