oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize