fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
