It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
