Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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