I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
