I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
