You smell like stripper and shame
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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