It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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