I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
