a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I got inside last night via doggy door
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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