At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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