I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
