I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
