Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
