If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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