If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
