ya dads aren't the best wingmen
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
