Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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