And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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