Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
