So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
