Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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