I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize